All My Failures
by Shukusen
Summary: These are all my dead works..I don't expect you to care..I just want them to get proper treatment..even though they suck..*sigh* BTW yaoi. s/s se/z sq/z.
1. Default Chapter

  
"C'mon man! Everyone goes ta a bar during vacation!"  
  
Well yea. I knew that. Everyone like to drink during Spring Break. Too bad I couldn't get those tickets down to can cun. I could be like a crazy teenage spring breaker! And triple kiss!  
  
"Well yea. With people they like."  
  
"Man, that's mean! But I know ya don't mean it!"  
  
"Yes. Yes I do Zell,"  
  
"Ah man! C'mon! You're a teenager! Stop acting like your thirty-five or somethin'!"  
  
Sigh. Didn't I already explain?  
  
"You're useless. If you leave me alone for say....forever... after this, then I'll go to the bar with you,"  
  
"Cool! I'll get Selphie!"  
  
..Selphie? This just gets better and better. Sigh. Well atleast there will be vodka. I hope it's not the cheap nasty vodka. I mean, you can get a similar taste if you just go suck on a potatoe...not that I would know....of course not.   
  
  
At some cheap bar in Balamb......  
  
  
  
"Yo! Squall! I bet I could drink ya under da table!"  
  
What does that mean exactly? Drink me under the table? I mean, I know, but it's like the. You can't describe the. But you know what it means.  
  
Ahh damn. The jukebox started playing some chick song. I had to take my mind off of it. And what better way then by drinking?  
  
"Okay. Fine. The looser has to say he influenced the winner and Selphie into underage drinking,"  
  
  
  
I can't remember much after that.  
  
  
  
  
I'd like to think I won though.   
  
I like vodka! And vodka likes me!  
  
I must still be drunk.  
  
  
I woke up in some cheap inn. The windows were open and some of that accursed sunlight was sweeping through, and blowing the white drapes a little. Damn, my head hurt.   
  
Hmmm. How did I get here? Maybe Selphie put like Roach in one of my many shots. Hmmmmm. But what was the motive? Whatever.  
  
Whatever. I should get back to Garden, before like, someone says, "Dude! Squall isn't here! Let's steal his stuff!"  
  
I sat up and stretched.  
  
I was missing my under shirt..so I reached over under the covers and..someone was there!  
  
"What the fuck? Leave me alone!"  
  
Eep!  
  
"Um..Who're you?"  
  
The person sat up.  
  
Of course it was a guy. A beautiful women would never be there. Sigh.  
  
"Who the fuck are you?"  
  
"I asked you first!"  
  
"What the fuck are you? Five?"  
  
"Fine. I'm Squall."  
  
Yea. I had definitely seen that guy before.  
  
In line to get the fake IDs I'm sure.  
  
With some scary chick.   
  
Who says chick anymore? I'm a looser...  
  
"I'm, Seifer Almasy,"  
  
He said it all dramatic like. I wish I could do that. And make up big words! Like matikulate! Maybe that is a word. I dunno. I would have to look it up whe-  
  
"What the fuck are you doing here?"  
  
"I don't know...I think I got drunk or something but I can't really remember,"  
  
"Can you remember..did we..?"  
  
I looked down. I still had my pants on if it meant anything........  
  
"I don't think so. I'm not a fag,"  
  
"Well shit. I don't know about that,"  
  
"What?? I'm am NOT a fag,"  
  
"I wasn't talking about that dumb ass! I think we did you know, fucked! You're disgusting!"  
  
I'm disgusting? Doesn't it take two people to fuck?   
  
"Whatever. I'm leaving,"  
  
"Just don't say you're a Garden student,"  
  
.Shit.  
  
"Um. No. I work in a sweatshop. Heeey! I remember making that shirt!"  
  
Seifer grabbed me by the throat. He must have mood swings.  
  
"I swear to fucking Hyne, if you tell anyone about this...I'll slit your damn throat!"  
  
"Because I'm so proud to have shared a bed with Seifer Almasy,"  
  
Owie! He threw me against this wooden dresser. Fuck him.  
  
I grabbed my gunblade.  
  
"You know how to use that? Whatever. Just leave. I don't have time to deal with fucking amateurs,"  
  
  
Whatever. They're probably stealing my stuff by now.   
  
I just left my undershirt there I guess. Oh well.  
  
Like I don't have a closet full of them.  
  


This was supposed to be a really big long story that was 'the one'. Of course I think that of all my stories. But now I see the very vague detail..and I can't remember what it was suppose to turn out to be.  But I still like it. **Awww. How cute.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. I don't wanna be like them

(( All this is written kinda like Squall is all writing this down...they'lll get longer. Promise))  
  
I guess I've never liked girls, really. All the other boys do. Not that I care of course, I don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about themselves or me. But I look at them, and then at me and I wonder. I bet it's just a phase though. I'm sure it is. I couldn't be gay. It goes against all my moral beliefs. I don't want to be a hypocrite. Who does? I'm not like really involved with girls, I can't really even see myself being married, but that doesn't mean I don think it's wrong and sick and gross to be gay.  
And you can't be gay here. Not at this garden. Like the other day, this guy who admitted he was gay, I think his name was Jason, we had homeroom together..anyway Seifer, his posse, and a few other girls he manipulated went and tore up the guy's room.  
I guess that's what you get. And he must have been a dumbass for admitting it. Not that I care. The last thing I care about is what others think of me, and what others think of others. I'll never be like them.   
  
Damn damn damn! I'm gay. Now I can never go back. It sickens me as I write it. I can never go back. What does that mean? Of course I can go back. I'll just have to like, get drunk and make out with some girls or something like that.   
Oh god, listen to me. So this is what I've become. I've never really cared about my beliefs. I guess I care what others think...no. I don't forget it. I'm fine.  
  
That doesn't sound very convincing though.  
  
Plenty of girls have asked me out. Finding one to make out with shouldn't be hard. Damn this sucks. So if I don't make out with anyone, I'll be known as gay..but if I start making out with all these girls then what will I be known as? A slut. But only a guy. I wonder what they would call a guy slut. Hmm.  
  
I guess I realized I'm going to be gay-it still sucks to write those words-because I was in the cafeteria today, letting my thoughts wander when my eyes came on Seifer. I thought out of the blue, "Isn't he cute?" eghad. I sound like a girl. Fuck. I don't like this.   
  
But I can fix it. There isn't anything such as fate.  
  
I'll be fine.  
  
Damn!  
  
So I made out wit this girl named Sabrina. I didn't go all that well though I guess. Because you know, it was like, Okay, so there's a tongue in my mouth. Sabrina was pretty I guess, like the third most popular girl in garden. Or so I hear. I don't really care. But I swear she stuffs her bra.   
  
So I guess I'm gay. I can't change it. I guess I'll just have to live with it. MAybe fate is true. But atleast it's like I'm not in love. Love is only true in trashy airport novels. Damn Anne Rice books. 'Course I did like Lestat..but um anyway...  
  
Oh well. It's not like anyone will ever know.Not that I would care. I can't ever see me getting married. And If I was straight who would I marry? No one really likes me. Not that I care. Life is easier without friends.   
  
Damn porn watching roomate. I better stop writing.   
  
Author's Note: I decided I'd bring this story back from the dead. *blows dust away* I sort of like some of it. Um sort of. Anyway these chapters won't be nearly as short as the others now..and now I have to decide the future..*sigh.* And one more thing before squaresoft sends me a lawsuit. I do not own anything and I never will until Kirsten gets off her lazy ass and applies to Square Soft.  
  
  
  
  
  
**Ah. I just wrote that Author's Note last night..but now..no. I'm not going to finish it.  I don't like the way it's going.  Seriously though, I did have a good idea in the beginning, sort of.**  
  
  
  
  



	3. Spin

Disclaimer:  I DO NOT own FF8.  Though I want to… Blaugh**  
  
((The verse was written by my very best friend, Lindsay, and her penname is Shukusen Check out her stuff!  It's good! O.o; She also helped write the story..but less then me ))  
  
  
  
THE CANDLES FLAME  
  
You didn't have to die you know,  
  
If you were alive today…  
  
Who knows what we could have done?  
  
I hate you for leaving me,  
  
Maybe I'll join you,  
  
Maybe I won't.  
  
I don't understand how you could kill yourself,  
  
Didn't you love me?  
  
Why don't you realize all the pain you're causing me?  
  
I wish I had watched you,  
  
If I knew could I have done anything?  
  
I guess it's better that I didn't know.  
  
Finding your body was a surprise,  
  
I told you I always loved surprises.  
  
Did you hate me?  
  
You must have if it was so easy to end it all.  
  
I guess I shouldn't have ignored…  
  
You never really loved me,  
  
Not the same way I loved you.  
  
I gave you my heart,  
  
But you never returned it.  
  
You'd rather have a switchblade, I guess.  
  
But maybe that's okay  
  
Just maybe…  
  
I don't really need you,  
  
I guess I would rather have Zell  
  
But I wouldn't be the same.  
  
I love you.  
  
Always have…  
  
Always will…  
  
Seifer  
  
  
  
  
  
Squall slipped the paper on his pillow and raised the switchblade. Its sharp blade gleamed menacingly in the dying sunlight. He walked out onto his private balcony and watched the students who were just outside Balamb Garden property. The balcony overlooked the gorgeous field full of green grass, and he could see the beach, it's waves splashing against the shore, making music.  
  
It was beautiful. But he didn't deserve it. Squall glanced down again, seeing some students battling Bite Bugs, Jellyeyes, and other various monsters. Some were scurrying back to Garden, trying to get to their dorms before the Disciplinary Committee got to them for being out after curfew.  
  
Or what was left of the Disciplinary Committee. After Seifer had…  
  
Squall waited until everyone below had left. He didn't want anyone to see him, not like this... He climbed atop the small railing surrounding the balcony, switchblade in hand.  
  
He held it to the moonlight, as the moon had just risen to meet the night- blackened sky. The initials S. A. glittered on the beautiful silver blade. It made his eyes glimmer when he looked at it. Squall looked into the gorgeous night sky one last time, the millions upon millions of stars glittering like fireflies.  
  
If Seifer can do it, so can I...and why shouldn't I? He thought.  
  
With shaking hands...and tears welling up slightly in his eyes..but he shook his head. "I..I can't have any regrets...just like Seifer didn't...he didn't have any regret about leaving me!"  
  
Squall slit the left wrist open with a quick upward motion, freeing a red, gushing river, so alive. It had actually felt… good.  
  
With tears pricking the corners of his eyes, he slit the other wrist, freeing all his troubles with the crimson fluid.  
  
With no control over his body, he fell. Off the balcony, into the sky. The blood from Squall's wrists was flying everywhere, in his hair, his face, leaving a trail of crimson.  
  
The switchblade twirled beside him, almost tauntingly, in the moonlight, Seifer's initials flashing across the blade, across Squall's mind. With the last of his life slipping away, the image of Seifer's initials imprinted in his head.  
  
Squall had to smile as he felt wind rushing past him, and his hair flying upward...and for a moment he thought...maybe..maybe he could fly like this..forever.  
  
He would never have to worry about Seifer..or..Zell..ot anyone..he could fly..just fly...  
  
That's when he hit the ground.  
  
  
  
  
  
 Zell Dincht was closing his window when blood splattered onto his tattooed face.  He saw a large… thing… fall through the twilight sky.  He shoved his bloodstained face out the window and glanced below.  The leather-clad body that was lying on the ground belonged to none other than his beloved Squall Lionheart.    
  
 Zell's heartbeat quickened and his breath caught in his throat.  He raced through Garden, determined to get to the spot where his one- time lover had fallen.  He climbed the gates surrounding the school, and saw Squall's body lying, crumbled on the ground.  Zell ran faster and kneeled down beside his beautiful Squall Lionheart.  Oh Hyne, oh Hyne… Squall… wake up!    
  
"  I can't believe it…"  
  
" Didn't he realize…"  
  
  If only… Zell lowered his head and kissed Squall's lifeless lips that were still warm to the touch.    
  
"  What the…" Zell heard someone whisper behind him.  Zell whirled around and saw Irvine Kinneas.    
  
" He's gone."  
  
"  Like Seifer?"  
  
" Yes… but… Hyne…"  
  
" The Fearless Squall Lionheart… gone"  
  
"  Fearless except when it comes to living without Seifer Almasy"  
  
 They sat in silence for a while, a very uncomfortable silence.  Just looking at Squall's mutilated body made Zell sick, but he couldn't just tear away.  Zell felt a single tear run down his cheek, then felt a strong hand on his shoulder, gripping it for support.  Zell looked up at the beautiful cowboy, with his long, light brown hair tied back neatly, his clear violet eyes reflecting in the moonlight.  Zell suddenly felt… drawn to him.  Before they knew what they were doing, Zell and Irvine embraced, and kissed.  
  
 Climbing.  Climbing higher and higher and higher.  Zell was climbing what seemed to be an endless chain link fence.  Silver… all around… He had to see Squall.  Squall was on the other side.  Zell didn't know how he knew this… he just did, and he desperately had to see Squall.  Climbing… climbing higher and higher… trying to reach the top…  
  
 He had made it!  He could just see the end of the fence… Oh, Hyne… barbed wire.  Figures.  Screw it.  Sure, he'd cut his hands pretty badly, but it was worth it.  Zell would sever all his limbs to see Squall again.  Zell put his hands on the barbed wire… ugh… it hurts…     
  
 The metal tore into his hands… ripping and tearing the flesh.  Blood.  Blood running down his flesh.  Running down the metal chain link fence.  Zell closed his eyes, ignoring the pain,  and jumped over the fence in one swift movement.  The sharp metal spikes dug into his hands… pain… pain shooting up his well- muscled arms.  Tears.  Tears running down his face… mixing with the blood… staining his clothes and his skin.    
  
 At least he had made it.  Over the fence.  Sure, it was a long fall…. Zell saw him…  
  
 Squall Lionheart.  In all his glory.  Sitting on a rocky, jagged cliff that overlooked the stormy sea.  Zell, overjoyed, ran to his beloved.  Sure, he was extremely bloody, but then again, so was Squall.  He knew it was all worth it when Zell saw the moon reflecting off Squall's deep eyes.  They embraced for what seemed like hours, Zell sobbing into Squall's shoulder.  Squall even seemed pleased, and let out a rare smile.    
  
 Lightning flashed the midnight sky surrounding them, reflecting off the deep navy blue of the dark ocean.    
  
 "  Squall… why?,"  Zell managed to choke out.    
  
 Squall just smiled sadly.  Then… everything started fading… fading away until everything was white…..and Zell reached out for it.."No..don't go..please!" Zell pleaded.  
  
But soon nothing remained…it was just dull black darkness.  
  
 Zell woke in a cold sweat.  He sat straight up in bed, beaded perspiration on his forehead.  A dream.  It was just a dream.  Maybe, with a little luck, Squall's death was a dream too?  No, if it were a dream, Squall would be here, by his side, comforting him. No..no he wouldn't..he would be with Seifer..but that's okay..oh  Squall… I miss you so…  
  
 Zell rose and stretched.  It was two o'clock in the morning.  Yesterday had been so confusing…  
  
 After he and Irvine had kissed, they knew that they would end up…  
  
But Zell felt horrible about it..he had betrayed Squall..and..maybe..if eh just hoped..no. Squalll was never coming back. He was dead.  
  
And I let him die….I let him fall..and I'll never see him again…well not until they move his body…but he'll never try to act cold and stoic even when he's about to laugh..he'll never look at you again with his sparkling eyes… Zell thought as he sat with his legs crossed on his bed.  
  
He then heard…rustling? What was that anyway? Then the voices of some men…  
  
Zell got up and looked out his window…there was a bag…a very large black bag…what was in…  
  
"Oh," Zell said aloud.  
  
"It must be Squall…" Then for some reason..his eyes were wet.  
  
"What's the use of crying? He would never cry for me, and he's gone..gone..tears what do anything..nothing will help Squall..not now..so why sould I bother? I don't want to think about him..I don't want to dream about him..I just..just...,"  
  
Then he suddenly leaned out the window and yelled, "Just leave me alone!'  
  
But even after everything..all Zell could do was shake..then collapse to his knees…and then cry some more until morning.  
  
Ah. This is another duet I wrote with Kirsten. It was suppose to be really cool with hallucinations and wings and puddles of blood…but Kirsten got lazy…and so did I. I don't like this story all that much either…I mean, it has some good points, but..egh. I don't know. 


	4. Depressing Segment

  
I've learned that I can love. Really I never knew it before Zell's death...he was just..just someone I wanted to have sex with really. But then really, perhaps I' haven't learned anything..I'm a human...human's are disgusting superficial creatures and maybe.. I'll always be that way. Maybe, I suppose Zell's death- or anyone's will ever change me.  
  
****

**I can't really say anything on this paragraph. I though t of it after watching some depressing Vegas movie. I doubt I could ever incorporate it in a story…**


	5. I'm Afraid

  
This was a duet fic. Most thoughts and actions of Seifer were written by SeiferLuva....and most thoughts and actions of Selphie and Squall were written by Selphie Timlett II....  
  
Seifer sat on his bed, just staring at his wall. He had much better things to do, like homework, but he just didn't want to do anything at the moment. He was thinking about nothing in particular, just staring. What was there to think about anyway? Suddenly, KNOCK! He jumped a little at the sudden sound, then walked across his small dorm room to answer the door.  
  
He put on his most evil glare, hoping to scare whoever it was away. He swung the door open, to find a short girl, about 14 years of age, with green eyes and flipped- up chocolate brown hair.   
  
"Yea?" He said.   
  
Selphie stepped back. This wasn't who she expected. She must have read the paper he friend gave her wrong or something. "Um..Um..I'm sorry!" Selphie started to talk really fast..this guy..he had a stoic look about him....he really scared the piss out of her. "It's just that um, I thought this was my friend's room..and um...I-I-I'm sorry!" Selphie turned and ran...leaving her pink notebook on the floor at Seifer's feet.  
  
"That was scary! I hope I never see that guy again!"  
  
Selphie stopped to catch her breath. "I'm too nervous! I'm such freak!"  
  
But she still had to see Jessica. She had to help her in math.  
  
Selphie reached in her pocket and pulled out a slip of paper.   
  
"Oooh! I was reading it wrong! It was 886! Not 889!"  
  
When Selphie reached Jessica's door she stopped for a minute. What if was wrong? What if it was some scary guy like that one with the glare?  
  
"Stop being such a wuss!"  
  
Selphie knocked....and when a familiar face opened the door she sighed with relief.  
  
"Hi Selph....haven't you got the notes?"  
  
"Oh..yea.."  
  
Damn! She lost her notebook...it was...was...oh no! The guy had it!   
  
  
Back at Seifer's dorm..  
  


  
Seifer bent down and cautiously picked up the little pink notebook laying on the   
  


ground. That little skittish girl had dropped it. Seifer went back into his dorm and closed the door. He flopped down on the couch and opened the notebook. It was used for taking math notes. But, he saw some scribbled side-notes.   
  
Heeeey   
Hiya  
This class is BORING!   
no kiddin!  
u wanna go see a movie after school?  
what one?  
that new comedy with that cute guy!  
okay.  
  
Seifer chuckled. How Girlie! He flipped to the inside cover and saw the owner's name and dorm room number. Well, he thought, I'll have to personally deliver this!  
  
  
Selphie sat on her bed. So..she needed the math notebook..or she would practically fail Math. There was a big test coming up...and she was barely skimming by with a C...Eep.  
  
"But I can't get it back. I bet that guy would kill me,"  
"Why do you think that? Selphie said, talking to herself.  
"He was just scary looking!"  
"And the glare!"  
"But..would you rather fail math?"  
"Hard choice,"  
"Between death and failing math I would choose failing though,"  
"Well it's just-"  
KNOCK,BANG,KNOCK!  
"EEP!"  
  
Selphie jumped from her bed. Her neck hair' stood on end.   
  
"Heeeeyy! Don't knock so loud!"  
  
Selphie reached and answered the door.  
  
Oh! It was the guy!   
  
With the notebook!  
  
Heh..heh...well I guess that solves my problem...  
  
Selphie wanted to melt.  
  
"Wha-wha-heeey that's mine you know!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"Yes, I do know, Flippy." Said Seifer sarcastically.   
  
He shoved the notebook back into her shaking hands and turned on his heel and left..   
"What a weirdo", He thought as he walked down the hallway toward the library sullenly.   
  
  
  
  
  
Squall was carrying a very large stack of books. Yea, he was a nerd. But for a good reason. He had no interest in staying at Garden for the rest of his life. He had to study so he could be a SeeD...or it would be sitting alone at tables sighing at the blonde hair boy who always stuffed hotdogs in his mouth. What the hell was with his tattoo anyway?  
  
Squall wasn't really paying attention...so letting his eyes wander they came upon a tall blonde boy. He looked about fifteen or sixteen.....and he had a rebellious look about him..staring up at his eyes and his hair...Squall couldn't help but gasp....and his palms became sweaty..so he dropped all his books..which made a very loud THUMP.  
  
Everyone in the hall stared at Squall...except the blonde boy who just kept walking..he didn't even bother to look back.   
  
Some girl Squall didn't recognize came up and started to pick up his books. Squall..still staring didn't notice until the girl shoved all the books into Squall's frozen arms.   
  
Squall blinked. He didn't normally talk to people..much less those he didn't know....but he had to ask...  
  
"Do-do you know who he-that-was?"  
  
"Oh you mean that boy in the trench coat?"  
  
"Y-yeah,"  
  
"Oh, that's Seifer Almasy...every girl likes him just about. But I hear he's a real asshole, really,"  
  
"Oh..um..thanks,"  
  
Squall turned and started walking again. The boy seemed to have disappeared.  
  
The girl waved and shouted, "Hey! My name is Kirsten by the way!"  
  
Seifer smirked. Out of the corner of his eye, he had seen a boy around his age, maybe a bit younger, just a year or so though, drop a large pile of books. "Sucks for him," Seifer thought as he walked into the cafeteria. Sitting at the table directly in font of him, he saw a boy also around his age with wild blonde hair and an interesting tattoo which blazed on his cheek.   
  
The boy was rapidly stuffing hot dogs in his mouth. When he had finished his plate of about 15 hot dogs, the boy had a grin of pure joy on his face.   
  
"..He's disgusting.." Seifer thought. He patiently stood in line for some food, aware of all the females staring at him hungrily. Then, a girl with dark hair waltzed up to him to say  
  
"Hi, are you Seifer Almasy? I'm Kirsten."  
  
"No. I'm the candy man!"  
  
Kirsten sighed.  
  
"Look...I really like you..and I'm really nice and pretty and funny and stuff! So..um..do you wanna go out?"  
  
Seifer blinked.  
  
"No. I don't! Get the hell away from me! Haven't I already told you?"  
  
The girl sulked away.  
  
"Fine!"  
  
Kirsten pouted.  
  
"Well..I'll get my revenge!"  
  
"He thinks he can just treat me like that!"  
  
  
Squall was sitting on his bed with his legs crossed thinking deeply. That guy, Seifer Almasy, I don't like him or anything. No. Probably not. Oh Hyne no.  


  
  
"Or maybe you do," Squall said, talking to himself.  
  
"Maybe you just don't want to admit it,"  
  


  
  
"Admit what?"   
Squall's head spun to the door...it was that girl. What was her name? Christin or something?  
"How did you find my room?"  
  
"Oh, see, I saw your name written in one of those books..so I asked around and found out where your room was,"  
  
"Oh,"  
  
"So are you going to tell me why you're here?"  
  
"Aren't you quite the social butterfly?"  
  
Squall shrugged. "I don't talk much,"  
  
"That's obvious. But I have to ask you something, do you like Seifer? You know the boy in the trench coat?"  
  
Squall blinked. Of course in the hall it was obvious. He hadn't really made an attempt to hide anything.   
  
"..What does it matter if I like him?"  
  
"Oh, it doesn't really matter, imagine that, the great Seifer Almasy a fag?"  
  
"Hey, I never said I was a fag,"  
  
"Your actions speak more then your words. For instance, the whole hall incident, you don't look like a clumsy guy...and there was no reason for you to drop your books. Unless something made you loose your grip. Like sweat. And just now, when I asked if you liked Seifer, you took a while to think..and then hesitated,"  
  
Squall sighed. That was scary. People being to read what he was thinking by how he was moving or whatever.  
  
"I'm more complex then you think,"  
  
"No you're not. I just read you like a book, guy,"  
  
Squall pouted. He liked to think he was something special. Like writing a book about good.   
  
"Yea, well, I could easily win at Monopoly,"  
  
"Then I'll smash you at Life,"  
  
"It's better to go to college you know,"  
  
"It's better to not, Squall. Measly little benefits couldn't interest me. And I usually pick the one hundred thousand. So there!"  
  
Squall sighed.   
  
"So really..what do you care if I like Seifer?"  
  
"It's all part of my plan. I mean, I'm not a homophobe...but a lot of people at this Garden are...and Seifer keeps pissing me off..so I have a plan,"  
  
Oh damn. This girl was out to ruin him. Or rather Seifer. But it wouldn't really improve his social standings. Not that he cared...he was the last person to care about what others thought..but still.  
  
"Um. That's nice. What exactly is your plan?"  
  
So I can avoid it?  
  
"I can't tell you! You're quite the gossip it'll all be ruined!" Kirsten smirked.  
  
"But, Squall, before I leave, what brand of condom do you use?"  
  
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegh. Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Go on with your plan! Leave me alone!   
  
Squall stuck his face in his pillow.  
  
"I'm fourteen, I don't use condoms yet,"  
  
  
"Surreee"  
  
"Leave me alone,"  
  
Kirsten smiled and ran out the door.  
  
  
  
Seifer had just finished devouring two hotdogs. He got up and strut down the hallway. This was the, what, seventh time that girl Kirsten had asked him out? He'd actually went out with her two years ago, when he was 13. They had went to a basketball game, and she was staring at him the entire time. When the end of the date was near, Kirsten obviously didn't want to leave him. She had literally hooked her arms around his waist and he had dragged her down the entire Balamb Garden Hallway! Seifer shuddered at the memory.   
  
Seifer went into his dorm room. His roommate, Raijin, was already there.   
  
"Hey Seifer, ya know?" said Raijin casually.   
  
Raijin's way of ending every sentence with 'Ya Know' really got on his nerves. But, now it didn't bother him too much. Raijin was cool to hang out with.   
  
"Hi, Raj" Seifer replied.   
  
"So,uh, what's botherin' ya, ya know?"   
  
"How could you tell?"   
  
"Oh, maybe by the way you sulked in here, ya know?"  
  
"If you have to know, Raj,...I really don't know,"  
  
  
  
  
  
Selphie sat staring at her nunchaku. She should have been practicing..her instructor disagreed with her weapon choice, claiming, "To use nunchaku well, you must have upper body strength, women lack that," But she had other things to think about and do. The guy, whatever his name was, still really scarred the hell out of her, but that didn't mean she didn't find him attractive.  
  
Him and his deep voice and arrogant way of doing...everything. Like it was the most important thing in the world.  
  
"I kinda wanna see him again. But not,"  
"Like he would pay any attention to me anyway,"  
"He'd probably shoot me or something,"  
  
KNOCK!  
  
"Eeep! Stop doing that people!" Selphie rushed to answer the door, hoping that it could just be- but no. It was some black haired girl she had never seen before.  
  
"Umm..heeeey?"  
  
"I'm Kirsten..but..what do you know about Seifer Almasy?!"  
  
"Who?"  
  
Kirsten sighed.  
  
"The one with the big gray trenchcoat!"  
  
Selphie gasped. So that was his name. Seifer Almasy.  
  
"How do you know he was here?"  
  
"Oh come on, everyone saw Seifer take your notebook back. How could you forget your notebook? You must have been doing something other then studying!"  
  
"I'm fourteen, that's not old enough to be having sex,"  
  
"Ha! I was talking about making out! But your guilty conscience admitted to dirtiness!"  
  
Kirsten gasped.  
  
Selphie gasped.  
  
"No! And Seifer scares me!"   
  
"Suuure...." With that, Kirsten turned on her heel and left.   
  
On her way back to her dorm, Kirsten passed Seifer's dorm. She decided to take a little peek in the window that was so conveniently left open. Kirsten stuck her head through. Then her neck. Pretty soon, she had climbed straight through the window!   
  
Well... I might as well look around... Kirsten thought.   
  
She looked through the refrigerator in the mini-kitchen and grabbed an apple. She munched on it happily while looking through Seifer's stuff. She decided to go into his room. There, she saw Seifer, but fortunately, he was sleeping. He was muttering something in his sleep... It sounded a lot like... wall??? No... Kirsten strained every nerve in her body to make out the word: Squall! But, how did Seifer know Squall's name? Puzzeled, she went back out the dorm through the window.   
  
  
  
Squall suddenly sat up on his bed. He thought he had heard something. He concentrated his hearing. The window...aha! "Just don't let it be that girl....." Squall slowly walked over to the window, and opened it.  
  
He was greeted by someone jumping from the window.   
  
"Who's there?!"  
  
There was a bit of snickering....Squall scrambled over to turn on the lights.   
  
Squall blinked a little. His eyes hurt from the light..but after a few seconds he looked over and saw the blonde hair boy...whatever his name was..oh yea, it was Seifer.  
  
"Hey, Squall,"  
  
Squall was a bit in shock..and it was hard to make a big scene at three AM. "...How do you know my name?"  
  
"I have connections,"  
  
"Um..It's great..why are you here?"  
  
Seifer smirked. "To see you,"  
  
They stared in silence for a minute or so. It seemed longer though to Squall.  
  
"..Why do you wanna see me?"  
  
Seifer shrugged.  
  
"You're cute and I like you,"  
  
Squall's heart leapt back. Eghad!   
  
"Um..that's...lets say...um..um..flattering, but I'm not gay,"  
  
"Really? You look so bishounen,"  
  
"That's nice..eghad,"  
  
"Squall, I'm Seifer Almasy, I always get what I want in the end, you can't say you don't like me, or find me attractive can you?"  
  
Squall started to think. Well there's your crush, with a big thing for you, you could be a bit more excited, you could like, leap into his arms like in those old black and white movies. Would he support my weight? Hmm. But you're not anyway, You're just going to stand here aren't you? Loser.  
  
"So are you going to say something?"  
  
"What's there to say?"  
  
"Nothing really, bishounen,"  
  
So then it happened. Seifer stepped over to Squall and wrapped his arm's around Squall's neck, and jammed his tongue into Squall's mouth...he didn't have to fight long...but he couldn't surpass the feeling he was being watched..and he swore he could hear some kind of clicking noise..but he shrugged it off.   
  
Kirsten snickered quietly. This would show the Great Seifer. She had snapped a photo of the freaks while they were sucking face. She was plotting the most evil thing ever. If Seifer didn't want to go out with her, he would go out with no one! That and consider life a living Hell.  
  
  
  
Squall stepped back from the kiss. He didn't really want to, but if he didn't he was pretty sure he would fall from his weak knees. Squall gasped a bit, mainly for air, it was his first real kiss.  
  
Seifer shrugged. "You're a horrible kisser you know," 

  
It was true, Seifer had had better...but not this of an intense feeling...he f

elt...like he would have to kiss Squall, or he would die..  
  
..After a bit more silence, Seifer slinked out with a smirk. "I'll be seeing you bishounen,"  
  
Squall blinked. Um, okay that was weird..but..but..he had just kissed Seifer Almasy.....and now he wanted to sleep. Life was odd like that.  
  
~~~~The Next Morning~~~~  
  
Selphie was on her way to breakfast, when a bright colored poster caught her eye. She walked over to read it, and gasped. It was the scary guy, Seifer, yea Seifer Almasy kissing some other guy in a dorm!  
  
Selphie looked around at the walls....they were all over! Selphie tucked a poster in her pocket and continued onto breakfast..this was...weird! Who would have thought, Seifer gay?  
  
Seifer woke from his peaceful sleep. Last night had been good, real good. Though he did wish a bit more had happened. But you can only expect to much from he first encounter, he supposed. He yawned and stretched, then got in the shower. He put his clothes on and walked out the door. He, all at once, noticed three things that were wrong. Number one, everyone was staring at him like he was from a freak show. Number two, all the females were all pointing, whispering, then giggling at him, not in a good way like they usually did. And Number three, there were brightly colored posters of him... kissing Squall Lionheart covering every inch of every wall!!! He knew at once who did this..that girl, Kirsten!   
  
Seifer ran as fast as he could to Kirsten's dorm room. He had been there before. He punched in the window, glass sparkling in the light as it shattered from Seifer's powerful fist. He jumped through the window, and sought for Kirsten's room. He forced open the door to her room. She was sleeping contentedly with a smile on her face. This was it. He raised his Hyperion and held the base of it to the girl's neck.  
  
"If you scream, I swear to fucking Hyne I'll slit your God damn throat," Seifer whispered in Kirsten's ear.  
  
Kirsten gasped, and tried to crawl backwards, but she was trapped by Seifer's arm.  
  
"Wha-wha-why are you here?"  
  
"Oh I think you know why,"  
  
Of course she knew why....  
  
"What's wrong with telling the truth? Now you and your little bishounen can live happily ever after,"  
  
"Do you want me to fucking kill you?"  
  
Seifer turned the Hyperion and made a small cut in the girl's throat.  
  
Kirsten started to cry, "Oh Hyne no! Don't kill me! Please! Don't kill me!"  
  
"Stop talking bitch, and I might consider it!"

  
  
  
  
  
Kirsten tried to wipe the blood from her neck with her hand..she was quickly smacked..and it stung like hell.  
  
  
"So you think this is funny? Knowing that I'm going to be known as a fag for the rest of the time I'm a Garden student?"  
  
Kirsten sat motionless.  
  
"Do you know what it's like to fly?"  
  
Kirsten blinked. What the fuck was he talking about?  
  
"I'll show you," Seifer smirked.  
  
He grabbed her by the neck and walked her over to the window, which had bloodstained glass. Kirsten started to quiver. They were very high off the ground...  
  
"I'll be seeing you, Kirsten,"  
  
  
~~~Later That Night~~~  
  
PA: A young girl, Kirsten Martin, was reported missing earlier today, if you have any information, please contact the main office. That is all.   
  
  
Squall sat thinking on his bed. Wasn't Kirsten that girl who had helped him with his books, and has came into his dorm that one day? Yes, yes she was. He hadn't seen Seifer all day, with the posters and all. Squall had taken one look outside his dorm and decided to spend the rest of the day in his room. He checked outside   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


This was a duet my best friend Kirsten and I were working on. As I go through this writing. It makes me sad because it sucks so badly. Anyway, this was suppose..oh I have no idea. I always have such 'romantic' plot ideas..of course I forget them..later.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Why Can You Leave me Alone?

   Authors Note: Rah! The faint hearted, easily offended, and those who aren't open minded, shouldn't read this...because of yaoi, rape, pedophilia, ETC...and despite writing this I have a feeling I'll be getting a 'few' flames. And Squall talks to himself a lot...and it's from Squall's POV..and egh..you'll see. Oh yesh. A/U.  
  
      
  
       "Dun'cha wish ya could lay like this forever, Squall?, just look up at the stars, not having ta worry about anything?"  
  
   I looked over at the young blonde's face, his hair was blowing softly in the wind, and his teal blue eyes were sparkling, even more then usual in the faint moon. I wanted to say a lot things, but I couldn't of course. I could never admit I was attracted to him. That would be sick. What am I a pedophile?  
  
   "Wha'cha thinking about, Squall?"  
  
   "Nothing really,"  
  
   "Guess your Squall huh? Won't let anyone get close,"  
  
    Zell nodded. "Guess so,"  
  
   Zell sat up and stretched.  
  
   "I guess we should go inside before they catch us out here or somethin',"  
  
  "But before we go in, Squall, why are ya spending time with me?" "I mean, ya never let anyone get close, and here I am, like, your best friend, even though I'm a lot younger then ya are,"  
  
   Damn. He was getting suspicious.  
  
   "I don't know, Zell, you're just kind of cute, I guess,"  
  
   Nice being conspicuous.  
  
   "Oh," Zell nodded and started walking.  
  
   I followed behind him.  
  
   "Squall, do ya really like me?"  
  
   I stepped back. He didn't know anything did he? I wasn't that obvious was I?  
  
   "I mean, as a true friend ya know?"  
  
       Oh okay. That was scary.  
  
   "Yea. I already said so, didn't I?"  
  
 "It's just, like, a lot of my friends think you're not really my friend,"  
  
   "Don't listen to them, of course I really like you!"  
  
   Squall, you're so suave, almost like the shampoo.  
  
"Oh okay. Because I heard a rumor you're, just using me for my Linkin Park CD,"  
  
I blinked. The kid was cute.  
  
Which I could ruin.  
  
If I get too close.  
  
I don't want to stop seeing him, but who knows what could happen?  
  
You're a sick freak, Squall, you know?  
  
You could really hurt the kid.  
  
That won't happen.  
  
Of course it won't.  
  
I'm not, you know like a sicko.  
  
Oh wait, I am, but I would never do anything to the kid, would I?  
  
We reached Zell's dorm door.  
  
"Um, yea. I have to go, Zell," I said quickly.  
  
"Hey! But you're suppose ta help me with my Math homework!"  
  
"Um, yea. But, I really have to go. I'll help you first thing tomorrow, promise."  
  
   
  
"Oh, okay I don't really feel like homework anyway."  
  
You're actions don't go with your thoughts, Squall.  
  
You're afraid, aren't you?  
  
Afraid of hurting him aren't you?  
  
A bit more insecure then you're trying to make yourself believe?  
  
No, I'm fine. I just had to go.  
  
And do what?  
  
...Homework?  
  
You're a seventeen year old prodigy.  
  
In school anyways.  
  
You're done with everything.  
  
Okay. So I am afraid. But that doesn't mean I'm on the verge of doing something. I'm just paranoid.  
  
  
  
Are you sure?  
  
I'm never sure of anything.  
  
I could totally freak out and start fucking the kid tomorrow.  
  
But I won't.  
  
Your theory doesn't make much sense.  
  
It doesn't have to.  
  
I'm talking to myself.  
  
  
  
"Yo, Squall, what're ya doing? Aren't ya gonna start walking ta you're dorm?"  
  
I stepped back. Oh, yea, I was still standing outside Zell's dorm.  
  
"Egh, yea sorry if I was thinking too loudly,"  
  
"See ya, Squall,"  
  
I started walking to my dorm.  
  
I guess I'm stable. I should be. It's not like I just jumped on Zell.  
  
But you never know what could happen, you know.  
  
Why am I just thinking the same thing over and over?  
  
Is it a sign?  
  
A sign? Listen to you. You've never believed in that sort of stuff.  
  
Well one time I did get a really close horoscope.  
  
When I reached my dorm the first thing I did was slink into my bed with a large sigh.  
  
Am I depressed?  
  
Why should I be?  
  
You shouldn't think this much, it could lead to things.  
  
Like what?  
  
Stop thinking and go to sleep.  
  
  
  
~~~The next morning~~~  
  
So I got up and helped Zell with this Math homework, but my mind wasn't really on it.  
  
Several times Zell said things like, "Yo, Squall, are ya there?"  
  
  
  
Then I would shake my head and put my hand behind my hand on my neck.  
  
"Um, sorry if I'm not really involved, Zell, my homework last night was really tough,"  
  
"Oh, yea, I understand,"  
  
No you don't.  
  
"Hey, Squall, why do ya look so nervous around me all the time? It kinda bothers me,"  
  
Hyne. Did I look nervous? It's not like I'm sweating or anything though.  
  
Guess he's just sensitive. That's good.  
  
"Nervous? I'm not nervous,"  
  
"Oh! It probably has ta do with your fear of people,"  
  
Yea. Okay. Think that.  
  
Zell closed his Math textbook.  
  
"So, ya wanna go somewhere today?"  
  
Yes!  
  
No!  
  
"Um, like where?"  
  
If there were a lot of people around, I would probably feel better.  
  
"Like, I dunno, the movies?"  
  
Hmmm. Yea, the movies were pretty full of people, except it was dark…  
  
Listen to yourself!  
  
You're wondering if there will be enough people around to keep you from doing the unthinkable to Zell!  
  
You're a freak!  
  
I know. I thought I established that the other night.  
  
"So ya wanna go?"  
  
Sure. Why not?  
  
And why not go into a bank with a gun and a bag and hope people won't think you're there to rob it!  
  
Hey! Despite my crush on Zell, I'm still his friend. Going to the movies with him doesn't imply anything.  
  
You never thought it implied anything.  
  
You're just thinking or rather worrying needlessly.  
  
You'll be fine.  
  
You have mood swings.  
  
"Sure, I'll go..what are you going to pick?"  
  
"Well ya know, they have that one scary slasher movie out,"  
  
"You're into that stuff?"  
  
"'Course!"  
  
"Yea, that'll be great,"  
  
Must be those ferocious killing hormones acting up..  
  
So we walked to Balamb.  
  
It was a bit awkward for me, but I eventually go over it.  
  
Maybe it was the weather.  
  
You can' t be depressed and worried when Zell is around, anyway.  
  
And who wants to be depressed?  
  
  
  
We were too late to see the previews, which annoyed me because I always like to watch them for some reason, because Zell ordered like fifteen billion hotdogs. Hotdogs are okay but I've always found churros a lot better. Not that I eat them everyday. I wonder how the kid grows so well only eating a staple of hotdogs.  
  
We got a seat in the very first row, which I hated, because you had to turn your neck upward to see. And it was too loud- but it's where Zell picked. Personally, I want mindless entertainment with out any work.  
  
Not that I would have watched most of the movie anyway.  
  
The first line was, "Hello naked college girl in the shower,"  
  
It went rapidly downhill after that.  
  
But I like movies other people don't understand me liking. Like I watch Asian Dramas all the time, and this one show called Music Video Haven were they play a bunch of K-Pop. I mean, you can kind of just know what's going on. Despite that you miss some of the plot because you have no idea what the hell is being said.  
  
But why am I thinking about the odd things I like to watch?  
  
..But certainly Asian shows are more meaningful then bloody slasher fics.  
  
During the film, Zell suddenly reached over and put his hand on my armrest- which kinda freaked me out…but after staring blankly at it for a few seconds Zell quickly put it behind his neck and smiled.  
  
  
  
Blaugh.  
  
As smart as I think I am, I suck at understanding human emotion.  
  
Maybe that's why I was never picked for more then a tree in plays.  
  
One time I did pull the curtains though. That went horribly wrong though.  
  
You might ask, how the hell can you mess up pulling curtains?  
  
I wonder that myself.  
  
I just tripped and I hung onto the rope, and I slid because the floor had been waxed to look presentable.  
  
So I went sliding with the rope in my hands..and everyone saw everyone dressing and stuff.  
  
The play wasn't a big hit.  
  
Egh. Twisted memories.  
  
"So wha'cha think Squall? Of the movie ya know?"  
  
Oh. Was it over?  
  
"It was okay, I guess,"  
  
"Yea, it wasn't bloody enough for me,"  
  
Eghad.  
  
Zell jumped up and stretched.  
  
"So let's go back ta my place,"  
  
I nodded.  
  
So on the way to Garden Zell started making scary small talk.  
  
"What're ya dreams?"  
  
Dreams? I don't really have dreams.  
  
"I don't have dreams. They rarely come true,"  
  
"Wow, Squall, they have a word for ya're type of thinking,"  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"I danno, but they have a word,"  
  
"Pessimistic?"  
  
"Sure, I danno,"  
  
Why be optimistic? They're just thoughts to try to persuade you from the truth.  
  
"I'm just a down to Earth person,"  
  
"Are you religious?"  
  
That was laughable.  
  
"Not at all, I don't believe any of it,"  
  
"Oh," Zell nodded.  
  
'Why not?"  
  
"I just don't,"  
  
"Well you've enlightened me, Squall,"  
  
"Glad to here it,"  
  
  
  
So we sat in his dorm, the radio was softly playing, and his roommate was taking a shower. Zell was punching the air, which was really annoying, but it was his room, I guess.  
  
"Ya got any secrets, Squall?"  
  
Secrets? Was he getting suspicious? Or was he just asking in order as an attempt to cement our friendship, or whatever? Well better not get worked up about it I suppose.  
  
"Nah, not really,"  
  
"C'mon! Ya gotta like some girl!"  
  
Didn't he know? I thought he knew. Hmmm..  
  
"Not really, I'm gay for one thing,"  
  
Zell stopped punching and looked up at me.  
  
"I didn't know! Why are ya gay?"  
  
Why? That's a hard question. I mean, I was gay before I became a pedophile..so Zell really doesn't have anything to do with it.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I just am,"  
  
"Oh," He seemed kind of uncertain for a minute..and kinda stood there dazed..but I guess he got out of it.  
  
"So tell me about yourself, Squall,"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like, I don't know! What guy do ya like?"  
  
…Egh. Just lie.  
  
Is that all really all my personal life is?  
  
A lie?  
  
Who knows what would happen if Zell knew anything?  
  
You know, he would get all freaked out.  
  
And you would end up friendless  
  
Like before.  
  
You don't want to be alone do you?  
  
You really need someone to talk to.  
  
Your life before meeting Zell was hell.  
  
What's your point?  
  
Living a lie is better then not living at all.  
  
Hey, I wasn't ever suicidal.  
  
"I don't like anyone, Zell,"  
  
"Not true! What's the point of being gay if ya don't like anybody?"  
  
He had good reasoning skills.  
  
"No, I just don't like girls really,"  
  
"Liar,"  
  
Better say something….  
  
I quickly racked through my male classmates…mind the only name I could think of was…  
  
"Seifer Almasy,"  
  
"I'll talk ta him!"  
  
Oh Hyne, what did I just get myself into?  
  
"No, no, I'll tell him myself, I have.. big plans,"  
  
"Oh, okay,"  
  
Eeegh. That was close. Seifer was some arrogant ass hole that no one liked…  
  
"I like this one girl, Selphie,"  
  
"Oh, then you should talk to her,"  
  
………  
  
I suddenly stood up.  
  
How hypocritical was that?!  
  
Tell her how you feel!  
  
Well.  
  
Trying to be reasonable, this is a different situation.  
  
Like Zell wouldn't freak the hell out if he learned anything.  
  
No. This is a normal regular boy girl same age crush that everyone goes through.  
  
Well most of us anyway.  
  
  
  
"Won't that freak a girl out being so… forward?"  
  
No. She's suppose to magically sense you like her. That's how it's always been.  
  
"No, not really, just don't be all excited and weird though,"  
  
"Yea, okay, I'll tell her tomorrow!"  
  
"So what'da ya wanna do Squall?"  
  
…There are a lot of things I want to do today.  
  
None that I could do though.  
  
You're such a weird freak Squall.  
  
..Don't these kind of thoughts lead to insanity and suicide?  
  
Dunno. That guy in Silence of the Lambs..did he have thoughts like this?  
  
I don't know.  
  
I never really like that movie.  
  
And it was..a movie. Movies are fake.  
  
And besides. You're a pedophile not a cannibal.  
  
Blaugh. That's gross. Eatting people.  
  
Blaugh. That's gross. Liking little kids.  
  
I get your point.  
  
Or would that be my point?  
  
Stop talking to yourself before you go crazy.  
  
I'm not already?  
  
  
  
"I don't really know.."  
  
"I thought of the movies! Now ya think of somethin'!"  
  
"What I really wanna do is watch this one Chinese drama,"  
  
It was true. I had heard of it. I didn't know what it was really called though.  
  
"Chinese drama? You're weird,"  
  
More then you think.  
  
"But I'll watch it,"  
  
So it ended about fifty minutes later.  
  
It was about a guy that was having a really bad day and he was late for work, cut himself while shaving so half his face was shaved the other wasn't, couldn't take a shower the water was too cold, and he couldn't brush his hair. All of his suits were dirty. The elevator was jammed so he had to fun upstairs..and he finds a leg hanging out of the elevator door.  
  
No one will believe him. So he has to leave it and get a taxi-which leaves before he can get in. And then for some reason he couldn't get on the bus- and the driver and him fought so long- that another bus ran into it- and the passengers got hurt- so they had to call an ambulance- he got a cut on his forehead. So in the bus he got accused of like molesting this one girl, and when he finally got to work- the elevator he was in was jammed.  
  
The girl who was in it with him hated him and smacked him and stuff- and when they pryed the door open- hse left the guy there. He didn't get out until almost the end of the day. He had to go to a meeting. All the files in his briefcase were crumbled..and the ink was running- the executives wouldn't accept them.  
  
I think he got fired. So he goes to a bar with his friends after work- and he sees the girl in the elevator. And in a fit of rage he runs at her- but her friends start beating him- and the men who worked at the bar threw him out and banned him. Then it ended with him on his bed staring up at the ceiling. It sounds kind of stupid really- but I liked it. But I'm odd like that. If it were in English I would have never watched it.  
  
  
  
When the credits were rolling Zell sat up, "Ya know that was the stupidest movie EVER!"  
  
I shrugged, "It was okay,"  
  
"But ya know, I have ta go do my science homework, so ya better leave unless ya wanna be bored out of you're mind,"  
  
"Oh, that's okay, I'll just talk to your roommate,"  
  
"He has ta go somewhere- he always does about this time, he's a weird guy,"  
  
Needless to say, a few minutes later I was in my dorm.  
  
You know- I must have a boring life. I mean, an average life except with me you know, liking Zell…egh..but that doesn't mean it still isn't boring. Why can't I wake up one day and find out I can like fly or something? Fly? Why would I want to fly anyway? ..If I could fly. I would leave this place. I'd get away from Zell and everyone..and I'd go to China, and star in some film on the International Channel- and all the kids at Garden would watch it- because it's the only channel anyone's tv will pick up.  
  
Then they'd all say things like, "Heeey, I've seen that guy before"  
  
And while I'm in China- I'll meet some cute Asian guy who's just my age and we'd live happily ever after for ever.  
  
I can dream anyway. You never heard of any guy who died because of dreaming or something. Or atleast I hope not. I only have a few dreams. Impossible dreams. Like flying. Or swimming in a giant bowl of ice cream-though you couldn't really swim in it- and you'd be all sticky until you took a shower- and everyone would be like "Eww..look at that guy all covered in sticky brown filth! Doesn't he SHOWER?!"  
  
But that's enough pondering. I should sleep.  
  
  
  
~~Like, a few months later~~  
  
I think too much. Because today I ran into Seifer- I think that's his name anyway-I was looking down at the floor and thinking about something-I can't remember what though- something stupid probably that doesn't matter- just one of those thoughts that make you feel bad about yourself or whatever.  
  
I always have those.  
  
So Seifer was like, "Get the hell away from me and watch it next time!"  
  
You know- I'm not one to talk about anything- so finally..something snapped- I can't really explain it..but suddenly my eyes narrowed and I shook my head, "Go to hell," which really doesn't SOUND like much- but I'm use to ignoring everyone.  
  
"What did you say to me?!"  
  
"What did I stutter? Go to hell!"  
  
..I guess no one messes with that Seifer guy.  
  
  
  
He just got all weird looking and yelled, "I'll see you again!"  
  
  
  
I just shrugged off the threat from Seifer, I didn't really care then, and I had other pessimistic thoughts to think about anyway.  
  
Eventually the girl Zell liked, Selphie started hanging out with us. Between the two of them, I'm sure they've eaten more sugar then most the people at Garden combined.  
  
I mean Selphie is always falling or climbing on things and yelling, and they're both really obnoxious, but I like them anyway…with them around I have less to think about.  
  
I guess Selphie really likes Zell too, because whenever she's around she's always really like, weird looking, and you can just see all this affection on her face.  
  
I wish someone would look at me like that, but they probably won't, ever..  
  
  
  
  
  
Ah. *starts to cry* yes I remember this one. Flame war mega…but I love this story. Not that I don't think it sucks..I just toally love it for some reason. Never mind the did sort of steal the age thing from yaoifantasy..=x. But I pay respect to her now.  
  
  
  
One last word: I don't own anything, I'm sorry for spelling errors..but this is back in the day, so forgive me and understand I'm more careful now. Thanks.  
  
FINAL NOTE: This is the end of my graveyard. Until I start really writing again, then you can easily expect a lot more little squiggles. I also have a HP story that's dead..but it's posted..and not saved in my file it's so old..and I'm too lazy to do everything..so..get it yourself. 


End file.
